pi & anne

spring continuum
the new day after
the new day

There’s this notion that if you talk about your feelings you’ll get a better grip on them. I’m not sure about that. Not when I comment on my feelings endlessly in my head anyway.

a wrinkle where the river has been cloudless

Talking about them is another way of not feeling them, a tool to distance myself from them, a knife to carve rationality.

a drama production
given that room and space
a crescent earth, a full moon

I told a friend once: I have knots inside. I cannot untangle them, but I must. I obsess over getting answers, over understanding and reconciling things. I need that control. It pushes me far away. I focus so much on the why that I bury my emotions deeper and deeper in research. I detach.

a munching sound
what’s below
the snow

Yet it doesn’t answer the most important question, which is not how do I control my emotions, but how do I actually feel them?

sparkles in someone’s eye lash long sparklers