pi & anne

Let’s be real for a moment, shall we? Someone asked me if I have something to say about submitting, and this reminded me of how many poets are out there who might struggle with this, too.

Comparison

We humans are drawn to comparing us/our work with someone else/’s. This is natural. I have to tell me the latter again and again, because while it’s causing a lot of doubt and anxiety, it also has a purpose. I tend to feel guilty for comparing (there are people who are out there saying one should not compare oneself with others ever et cetera.) Beware of the all-or-nothing statements. As so often, it is about balance.

Who do we choose to compare us with? When do we do it? With what aim do we compare us? What do we plan to do with the results of the comparison? What is helpful when we get lost in frustration and resignation?

It is good to have some tools in case of the latter…

These tools can be very subjective and personal. I can tell you what is helpful for me:

a) Talking with a friend and requesting some kind words about myself and how they experience me.
b) Getting a hug.
c) Trying to get out of my head by literally doing anything with my hands (drawing, knitying, laundry, cooking,…)
d) Avoiding further exposure to possible comparison for a day (social media, reading journals and books of poetry).
e) Writing (when possible) or telling me that it is okay when I cannot, everything passes, I will again be able to.
f) Revisiting my own favourite published poems.
g) Reading friendly critiques which tell me what I’m good at.

It does NOT always work. It is hard, foremost when I struggle with seeing myself clearly through the filters of bad past experiences. This is okay. I don’t think anybody of us has figured that out and is completely immune to the effects of comparison.

We are allowed to feel down, rejected, helpless, jealous. It is important though to be aware of it and to not project it on fellow poets.

Before I forget it. Comparison is good for:

a) Learning new skills.
b) Reevaluating how I write and what I write about, and if I have changed, but my writing has not (and vice versa).
c) By noticing of what I admire in other writers I can become more sensitive to nuances in my own writings.
d) Becoming clear about what I like and what not (informs the way I write!).
e) Motivating me to reach out and connect with fellow poets (so worth it). Chosen community, or even friendship, who knows?
f) (Personal) Growth.
g) Reminder of humbleness being a thing.

Editor’s Recommendations and Requests

So when it comes to submitting, editors usually have a page/paragraph of what they prefer and want to publish. This is good! You can read the way they phrase it and learn tons by this.

Most will say something along the line of “Read previous publications to get a feeling of what we like to see.”

I promised real talk.

I don’t have time for this. It takes time to appreciate single haiku the way they should be appreciated. Slow reading! There are tons of different journals (in print/online) out there. Some have hundreds of pages and hundreds of poems in each issue. I have a life, a family, a mental health to attend to. I need to write daily, as this is selfcare. I never read any issue from cover to back. I have a pile at my bedside which seemingly never gets less, and very often I only feel guilty and pressured by it.

How do I deal? A hands-on suggestion.

a) I look out for poets whose style and poems are accessible and talk to me. I follow them on social media, have a look at their websites, maybe their chapbooks. I see where their poems get published.
…
I submit there, too!

b) I only submit when I feel like it. Any pre-planned submission periods are obsolete for me. I just notice that I feel like it,  and that I have some recently written work that I want to see published. I google “submission haiku” or “submission haibun”, leave tabs open with journals that currently accept submissions, submit.

c) I try to submit a diverse range if possible, so the editor has something to choose from.

d) I keep all submission emails in a separate folder. I usually forget about it, until I receive a rejection or acceptance.

e) I update my poetry files with acceptances or rejections.

f) Then I take a break from reading anything for some days.

Repeat from the beginning.

General ‘Reading To Get Better‘

Also, it seems anybody will tell you you must read a lot to get better. Well, I do not. I will not tell you that. Because I cannot.

But how do I get better?

By reading just enough. By respecting my limits. By reading when I feel like it and when I have time to do so. By picking cautiously what I read. But also just picking that which makes me smile. By living and writing about living. (Getting back to the point that I am just human with a life to live, have days of 24 hours, and not everything in life is about achieving publication. That can be utterly stressful, and I don’t fancy stress at all. Very, very bad for my health.)

Reading is great! Other people write wonderful poems! At the same time I am just doing what I can. And that means that such suggestions will always hit me like a bee sting. It seems to me then that I’m not doing enough. That I’m doing it wrong. That there is no other way.

If you feel similar: you are doing what you can. You are always good enough. There are other ways to learn.

And please, do keep on learning. There is always something to learn about out there.

………………………

That’s all so far.

Then submit. When you feel like it. Forget about the others—haha, we know that’s not working. Maybe rather:

Do not forget your self when you compare.